Osama Bin Laden is Basically a Fucking Asshole

Gavin modeled his new hat. He got it made at the airport.


Gavin as a junkie

Gavin as an American soldier (imagine Linkin Park playing in the background).

Gavin as a gay


And as a gay junkie

This one is the Terry Richardson style-bite

Romance

Judi: I can't wait to go to Vermont! I wanna go snow mobiling!

Me: I wanna go sledding!

Judi: I want someone to break their leg! It would be so romantic...

I Feel Bad When I'm Mean

I think returning an item to a store without the reciept is one of the scariest things a person can do. It automatically puts me on the defense, I feel like a fucking lawyer except there are no laws it's just "being cool" or "being a total asshole-cunt."

I bought these boots, they weren't cheap but they were vintage. The soles were cracked but I didn't notice that til I got home. Then it was Christmas, so I waited.

I worked all day and thought about it. I thought, I'm gonna be so nice and "you catch more flies with honey." Stuff like that. And also, the girl at the store knows me, it's in my neighborhood. She's known me for years.

I started out really nice but then she kept doing that thing, you know that thing where the girl has her eyes closed but her mouth is sort of a smile and she's shaking her head like, "no. no. no." She said "don't make a scene Lesley." I wasn't making a scene, but after that, I wasn't not mean.

We came to an agreement that I had to settle with but it still leaves me feeling weird. When I act mean I feel very alone. And it's hard not to judge myself when I still think she's a fucking cunt and I wanna bash her head in, the "no. no. no." head.

But I guess I have to pick my battles and what do I really hate about it after all? The shoes or the not gettting what I want? The wishing it could have happened differently and not being able to change it? The fact that I get so angry over trivial matters?

When I'm mean it's not personal. It just means I haven't thunk things through. It most likely means I'm scared. I think, I'm gonna tell everyone she's a cunt! And then I think, I'm gonna move away and never talk to anyone again! Neither would work but

I'm sorry if sometimes I'm mean.

xmas eve

I had dinner with Bill at Cindy Greene's fancy apartment. We ate her meals on wheels. She has cool stuff.





I went to B Side to visit the lovely Sara Egan. I djed for about an hour, then Rock Band took over. The game, not an actual rock band.

Pretty Kate Brown showed up. I have a couple crush on her and her man-piece.

And this is what I got for Christmas. Thanks Lenny!

(ps I'm bored)

The Michael Jordan of Paintings

One of my favorite paintings ever.


By Scott Lenhardt.

www.slenhardt.com

fierce by brillz

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Heavy Shit

I'm DYING to get in on the Babyland scene...

Babyland is where Cabbage Patch Kids are born. It's in Georgia. Some people have devoted their lives to "taking care" of these special "babies." Some babies are born too soon. This is "normal."

As is this



Sometimes they need a shot of Imagicillian, an experimental drug (not FDA approved...yet.)

My Sister

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10th street xmas

The party started out as harmless fun...



Then things became slightly rowdier.




Eventually, David started drinking his beer like a baby, and group dancing ensued.






Then all hell broke loose.


Sorry guys, but this is what you keep me around for, correct?

Put this in your funwall and smoke it

Crushes

I have a crush on her...

And her

And him

Not so much him anymore...


He's m'brother.

Name This Hearthrob...

Christmas Time Yawn

Sigh...parties, good times, mocktails and dancin grooves. Will it ever end?

The hipster plaid is out in effect with a vengeance.




Opening Ceremony had like 8765489 parties this week...










Ok ok enough parties...or is it?

Sorry

I'm just obsessed.

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Self Service!

Stacy Mark shot photos again, this time of me, Jen and Chrissie. Lots of boobs, cigarettes, coffee, and frilly clothing. Look out world.

XMAS EVE

I'll be djing a casual set at B Side while Sarah Egan gets you wasted. Please come if you're in town. 13th and Ave B.

ween fan out page

Yeah, I didn't bother with the caps lock this time. Maybe it's because I'm not feeling that well right now or maybe it's because I wasn't IN LOVE with the set list that night. The show was great, it was worth flying back early from Aus by all means. (Holy shit I sound like I'm talking about Phish!).
Song highlights include:
The Mollusk
Your Party
Baby Bitch
Piss Up a Rope
Exactly Where I'm At
Booze Me Up and Get Me High

I really wanted to hear:
Gabriel
Buckingham Green
Birthday Boy
What Deaner Was Talking About
So Long Jerry
Stay Forever
Flutes of Chi
I Hate The Smiths

Needless to say, the show was awesome but not as awesome as the Thrasher show. I also got a new computer. All my old photos are gone now. I think that, and this goes for all things in life, whatever can be replaced will be, and whatever can't be I don't really need. I guess I didn't need photos of random Ween fans pumping their fists, but I sure needed this:

I Quit My Job

I'm so happy I quit my job that I've kind of forgotten what it feels like to be happy. What I mean is, it hasn't really hit me yet. I used to fantasize about being a really big bitch to the people that call during these last days, but now that technically I can do that, I think it's mean and I don't want to. Or maybe I'm a pussy.

Things I won't miss about working at a hotel:

1. Room Service: Sometimes total assholes call and they don't say 'hello' they say "We want breakfast," and it's 1030pm. Then I say, "I'm sorry, we stop serving breakfast at noon." Then they say, "Are you serious?" You know, in some countries people eat breakfast at night!" And then I say, "No they don't." And then the person hangs up. How rude!

2. Dr. Zadanoff: Dr.Zadanoff is the hotel's masseuse and she has the kind of attitude that we should be sooooo fucking grateful she's here and that we get to serve her. She is curt and abrasive and says things like, "I need a cappuccino RIGHT NOW and if it comes any later than 5 minutes from RIGHT NOW I don't want it anymore." Well guess who doesn't want you anymore Dr. Z? EARTH.

3. Communal Bathrooms: Wow, it's so much fun to listen to each other take morning shits. I can't wait to shit next to my co-workers. It's not awkward at all. Pretending that I didn't hear you fart is easy! I can look at you in the eye when we're talking about that new Choen Brothers movie and not be thinking the whole time "Ha ha you farted hehehe."

4. Fluorescent Lighting: I thought I was kind of pretty before I worked here. Little did I know I was a zombie with purple/yellow skin, black eyes, and acne.

5. "Punching" in: We don't punch in with time cards, instead we lay our hands flat down on this super futuristic thing that knows our hand print memory. At first I thought it was kind of cool. I don't think that anymore.

6. The Computers: We have jenked out computers that prevent us from watching youtube and even AIMing sometimes. I have to explain over and over to my friends, "I can't watch that weird black dude sing about a mini-mall right now, I'm at work." It's like, so embarrassing.

7. Answering The Phone: My job requires me to do very little. Actually, 95% of my job is answering the phone. I'm so excited that I don't have to do that anymore. I'm excited I don't have to book rooms for foreigners or rich people and pretend to enjoy it. Lots of people have told me to write about working at a hotel but the book would be 1 page long because it's so boring. Maybe a funny thing to do would be make fun of my co workers but I actually like everyone here. I'll miss you fellow empolyees! Don't forget the cupcakes for my last day!

purple

I did a fashion shoot for Purple mag with Chloe Sevigny and Lizzie Bougatsos from Gang Gang Dance. We were meant to look like a 60s girl group, and Lizzie looked exactly like Ronnie Spector. I wrote a poem for Purple about Chloe's new fashion line and these photos will accompany the freestyle writing. I can't wait to show my kids these pictures one day, proof that mom was once kind of cool.

If Chloe wasn't an actress, she would have made an award-winning stylist.

This is what it looks like behind the scenes. It's called "making it work."




There are only so many poses a girl can do.



I was adamant about using the bongo, although I don't think it made the cut.

Conversations With Bill

Me: What do you do all day? You do like, one thing a day.

Bill: Hardly! Somedays I don't do anything at all...

2 girls, 1 reaction

you made my brain die.

the events

In Sydney:





And Melbourne:

xthecrewx

I roll deep.






Cast: Nic, Susien, Lesley, Scott, Mia, Stevie, Tim, Kim, and Briony and Mikey from Vice.
www.loverthelabel.com

Sydney

Bondi Beach was laid back.

THESE ARE CAKES!!


We had some down time.



Exotic sodas were plentiful.

the flight

The first thing people usually ask about going to Australia is, "Holy shit! How long is that fucking flight?" Well friends, the flight was 22 hours long-that includes the 5 hours to LA. And no, we didn't sit in first class or business. It wasn't THAT bad. The number of times I peed: 7
The number of magazines I read: 3
The number of movies I watched: 4
The number of hours I slept: ???
The number of pills I took: 0
The number of meals they gave us: 3
The number of times Scott and I broke up and got back together...

This is in LA. Things were already starting to get grumpy.

Minutes before we landed in Sydney. I had a Temperpedic neck thingy and a cashmere pashmina, plus a blindfold thingy and earplugs. It's hard to sleep with all that crap all over you!


We were soooo tired when we got there but we had to stay awake. We walked all over Sydney and saw this stuff.


The good news is that we slept really well that night. Also, Qantas has really good movies:
Sicko
The Darjeeling Lmtd
Superbad
Invasion
Control
Once
Pirates of the Caribbean 3
Die Hard 4
The Bourne Supremecy

Old classics such as; Fight Club, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, and Out of Africa

Back to back episodes of; Family Guy, The Office (UK and US), Ab Fab-and I discovered a new favorite TV show that I'm OBSESSED with. It's called Summer Heights High and it's Australian I think. Gonna have to look into it.

Plus a million more things! So much that we didn't have time to watch half the shit we wanted to. Well done Qantas.

(We also slept 14 hours when we got home, woke up and went straight to the Ween show. Coverage on that later.)