Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Visual Arts Workshop

I don't know how to use Photoshop. I don't even have it. I'm good at cutting and pasting things (literally) but when it comes to most visual arts, I really just don't have that thing that makes it look effortless. Even taking a picture of someone is painful for me. I get lost in images, I don't know how to pick them or put them together or draw or any of that.


But I don't know how to describe this feeling I have when the weather starts getting nice. It makes me wanna buy things and eat hot dawgs on the street and sit outside on a stoop for many hours. It makes me wanna not shower for days and not even care. It makes me wanna eat Sour Punch Straws all night long and cruise around the city on a never ending sugar high. WEEEEEEE! So here's to trying to capture that feeling with images.


I got this screen cap idea from White Lightning. I tried Polyvore but that shit was confusing and it wasn't working the way I wanted it to. Like I couldn't upload it or something. I don't know. A graphic designer I am not, but I like pretty pictures.




I think I just get a little overwhelmed with imagery sometimes. Don't you? Ideally I would just cut these out from a mag, paste them into a book or hang em up somewhere, and call it a day.

ARGH!! THE FUTURE!!!

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

This Is Weird

So, I spoke to a psychic today. Although I'm a Pisces I have to tell you that I've never had any luck with psychics. They usually tell me shit that's way off (i.e. "do you work with medicine?") or stuff that is so vague it can be relevant to anyone (i.e. "you have a very independent spirit.")
Today my experience was very, very different.
I spoke to her over the phone and barely said anything the whole time. She was so on point about some stuff it was freaky.
At one point she asked me if I had done a drawing of my cats that had been on hanging up in my apartment for a while (I didn't tell her that I even had cats). I couldn't think of anything (a drawing I did???) until I remembered that underneath all the crap hanging on my fridge, was this:

I made this years ago and it's been taped to my fridge since I first moved in. She told me I should put it on my blog (I didn't tell her I had a blog).
So here it is. I doubt it means anything but I just wanted to do it, especially because I had such a weird, insightful reading from her.
If you don't believe in psychics that's fine (Gavin) but for the love of God let me have this!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Top 10 Least Favorite Things

Today someone asked me "Are you going to Coachella?" And I responded by saying "I wouldn't go there for fun if that's what you mean. Going to 3 day long outdoor music festivals are probably on my list of Top 10 Least Favorite Things To Do."
Then it occurred to me that I should actually make that list!
So here it is!
(And btw, I realize my answer sounds flippant and rude but within the context of the conversation it was more "ha ha." But I still meant it).

1. Outdoor Music Festivals: I don't care if Elvis is playing. A 3 day long music festival IN THE DESERT? Really? That sounds like fun to you? Let's talk outfits first off. You want to look cool right? But you also need to be comfortable. The two don't go hand in hand. It's gonna be a million degrees and you think your jean shorts aren't gonna chaff the inside of your thighs? And how about going to the bathroom? You're gonna be drinking all day. Let's wait in line for the port-o-potty (those fuckers are on my top 20 least favorite things)and sit in a bathroom with diarrhea splashed against the walls. Oh and I bet you can't wait to get up reallllly close for... RADIOHEAD?!?! THE WORST BAND EVER. Being up close in the mosh pit, okay, that's your choice if you're 17 years old or younger, but if you're not up super close, chances are you're gonna be standing really far. Almost as far as not even being there at all. I'll be standing as far away as one would from a TV. Actually I'll be sitting, comfortably in front of a TV. And if the TV is showing said music festival, I'll be changing the channel.

2.Roller Coasters: That's right, I said it. I hate them. You have to stand in line forever to go on a 5 second ride that isn't comfortable, makes you feel sick, all your change falls out, and you have to sit next to either a stranger or a friend and what... scream really loud? How awkward is that? Are you supposed to raise your hands in the air and wave them like you just don't care? Well I care! Because I'm scared! Am I supposed to pretend like I'm bored? I don't get the roller coaster. Spills and chills? None for me thanks.

3. Water Sports: What's wrong with just swimming? Why do I have to "keep trying" to get up on water skies or a body board or whatever because you know I'm gonna fall off in 2 seconds. And the entire boat is now watching all of my failed attempts. Falling down in general isn't a good look but how about falling down in a bikini?

4. Peer Pressure To Do The Above 3 Things: I'm old enough to know what I like and what I don't like for the most part, so don't call me a pussy or tell me to "just try it." I have tried it, and I didn't like it, so don't try to convince me I will. I jumped off a cliff into fresh spring water. It didn't feel like "freedom" it just felt fucking cold. And also it hurt. It was a high jump. Can you not make me do it again?

5. Dinner Parties: I remember when I first saw the movie Pretty In Pink and Andie shows up to the mansion for the rich kids party and the girl notices her pearls and goes "Nice pearls. This isn't a dinner party honey." They proceed to get wasted and put pizza on the record player and that's when I knew dinner parties weren't for me. Don't invite me to your gay potluck because the only thing I'm bringing is a pack of cigarettes for myself. If that. Save that glass of white wine for someone who cares (about being boring).

6. Dick Riding: I'm specifically thinking of when I either go to a party or away for the weekend. Are we not old enough to know how to be alone for a little while? We don't ALWAYS need to do everything together. If you want to lay out and I want to go shopping, it doesn't mean that we're "in a fight." If I'm sitting alone at a bar it doesn't mean that "something is wrong," it just means that my friend is talking to someone else and I'm okay to not be involved in the convo. If something is wrong, I'll leave. I'm a big girl. I can find my way home without it being a huge deal. Alone time equals a good time, a necessary time, so get off this dick!

7. Getting Sprayed With A Hose Or Being Shot In The Face With A Water Balloon:
You got me! Now I'm wet! You win! I'm wet and look dumb. Thanks for the "surprise."

8. When You Sing The Lyrics To The Song In My Face: Right, I get it. You know every word to "She Keeps On Passing Me By" by the Pharcyde. Yeah yeah, you totalllllly used to listen to it in high school. That's so cool. How uncomfortable is it when you're out and a song comes on and the good friend that you're with starts looking at you right in your eye-holes super hard and sings the lyrics. Like what are you supposed to do? Look away? Look back and smile? Start singing along? There is no right answer because the act itself is very wrong. Just thinking about it is giving me the creeps. It's one thing to sing along to something together...that's fun. But when someone sings AT you it's just plain rude. It's the difference between a conversation and lecture but in song form (double ew).

9. When You Say Something And Your Friends Nudge Each Other And They Think You Can't Tell: Not only can I tell, but now I just feel really bad about myself. Turns out these people aren't the greatest friends in the world. Do I need their approval? Do I need them to like me? I don't think so.

10. When People Say "It's Just A Game" And Then Change The Rules: Um no, that's not how games work. You can't play celebrity and fuck up and just expect to get away with it. Maybe if you're 7, but if you're an adult playing a game, play by the rules. There is a humor curb. Like if you wanna break a rule that's okay but make sure it's hilarious. We'll let it slide for laughs, but there's no pussy exception. This doesn't mean take the game UBER seriously. That's gay too and also makes people feel weird, because making sure you win in an adult game is also for 7 year olds.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Where do I even begin...


This was the best thing to come home to tonight. A bunch of junk mail all containing the most awesome visuals man.








okay so how many mix cd's do i have to make and where do i send em?

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

REALLY!??!



So good. Made my day. I'm off to Sweden. See ya soon. xox

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Style Icon

ROBIN BYRD!

I always wanted to a Robin Byrd Show fashion story.


You can still catch episodes of Robin's sexy show on Manhattan public access (channel 35). It's listed as THE ROBIN BYRD SHOW.
SHE'S A LEGEND!

Some Other Amazing Banners...








I MEAN...

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

I'm taking a remedial high school art class for fuck-ups and retards.

A giant glass of milk!


"Now we're the newest members of the general population!"


You guys down for some reggae?


Ghost World is one of my favorite movies of all time.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

And yet another new banner by...

Only my all time revolutionary girl hero: Miss Kathleen Hanna.

Big ups sister!


(I'll be posting more amazing ones later, but come on...you know I gotta let this one flap in the wind for a while. It's too late for me to post them now anyway. Gotta get back to my page-turning book, Weekends At Bellvue.)

This is pretty unstoppable



(via Kathleen's blog)

Props to Santigold.

Banner Submission #2

Someone named "Diiet Pepsi" made this!

If you have to ask...

I am turning 31 on Monday, but today I wore a baby barrette in my hair.
I'm afraid to ask
because I know that if I have to ask
it probably means that

yes. I am getting too old to wear baby barrettes.

Monday, March 1, 2010

she's the joanest jett around

I'm super into girls who write graffiti lately. Kind of obsessed. I'm not claiming to know a lot about the subject (yet) but these girls are legends and also pretty fuckin punk.

Loving these photos from Aurel's Pussy book...



This chick just got outta jail. She's cute and has a blog and there's an interview with her here.




And these two are the end all be all in mine eyes...


Claw is basically the new Hello Kitty. She has a published book and a fashion line too.
But 17...who knows what happened to her. She's like a ghost or a fairy tale.





Banner Contestant #1

This is from a girl named Mo, and it's AMAZING!