Bill Strobeck is my ex boyfriend, but more importantly he is one of my best friends and my family. Everyone who knows and loves Bill knows that he says some pretty fucking funny stuff. I put this list up on my myspace page a few years ago but took it down when we broke up because it reminded me of hard times. People actually ask me about Bill and his funny quotes so often that I decided to put it back up. Plus I don't think of the hard times anymore, I just laugh. And you can be sure I always have a pen and paper handy whenever Bill is close by.
1. "You guys didn't call it the lavatory at your school? Well, did you drink bags of milk?"
2. Me: "Oh look! I just saw a salamander run under the pool!"
Bill: "Oh yeah? Did they do that at your Bat Mitzvah?"
3. "Wow. She's a full blown different."
4. "That guy looks like he doesn't belong anywhere. He just belongs."
5. "Look at that dude run! It looks like he just learned how."
6. "Oh who's he going out with? Zenee Nelwigger?"
7. "You're making me wanna shed mad tears."
8. "That guy is pretty butter." (Referring to his dick)
9. "I wanna pull a hamstring."
10. "Tara Subkoff...what's her line? Raised by Jesus?"
11. "Fuck this, I'd rather go to Club 84." (He meant Studio 54)
12. "Fuck this, I'm moving upstate and getting a job at Pastabilities."
13. "Asians eat the darnedest things."
14. Ben: "This pizza is tres miserables."
Bill: "I've seen that!"
15. "You know what i love on
16. "Let's just move to LA and get famous like that girl what's her name...fucking...Lilock? She was in Lovebug." (He meant Lindsay Lohan).
17. "I don't thrive on talking to foreigners."