Accepting Applications For: A New Gay

I never been much of a fag hag. While I love a gay as much as the next straight girl, I don't have a potpourri of gay boy bff's that I go out clubbing with. I've always had one very close gay male friend with whom I run around conquering the world with. You know the type. We're thick as thieves and people get annoyed when they hang out with us because the private jokes just runneth way the fuck over.

Tim was my gay in college, but then he transferred, which was sort of a blessing because incidentally I started getting laid a lot more when he was gone. We're still bros but you know, he lives in Brooklyn. Brooklyn gays need not apply, as I already have one in that borough.

Rafael, Mel, and Jazzy Jared are also tight gays to me, but they currently belong to other straight girls, and I'm not trying to get them to cheat.

Ben was my gay but he don't talk to me no more.

Jonny Makeup would make a great gay, but he lives in LA.

Bill and Michael are sort of like my gays except for the fact that they're both straight.

I'm looking for a Jay McCarroll type. No one especially horny because I don't plan on looking for ass with my gay.

Interests should include: Quoting Heathers a lot, being well versed in musicals such as Rent and Grease 2, dancing to Madonna a lot, making up dance routines to Fame maybe, pranking people, acting very exclusive, dressing up weird and hitting the streets, making other people jealous because our friendship is so much fun and all we do is laugh, laying in bed and listening to sad songs together, thinking my boyfriend is hot and wanting to make out with him, coming to family dinners with me and stealing the show.

Perks include: having a car, living downtown, owning a shoe store or something like that.

Please send me your resume. References help too!