I Hate Myself and I Want to Die

When you feel sad, hang out with the people who love you.
Like internet hero Cory Kennedy and JB.

Let Alex draw on you.


Tell people how much they mean to you.


Use them as your pillow.



Eat french fries and sit on the street.



Make a mix called "So Sad":
1. Hate-Cat Power
2. Lover, You Should Have Come Over: Jeff Buckley
3. Quicksand: Dinosaur Jr.
4. All Cleaned Out: Elliot Smith
5. Song To Sing When I'm Lonely: John Frusciante
6. Helplessly Hoping: Crosby, Stills, & Nash
7. Overkill: Men At Work
8. Hurt: Nine Inch Nails

What else?

I'm Living All Over...

THIS.

Never A Dull Moment

Sheesh.Is life hard or what? I mean, good-hard by all means, but still it's fucking brutal. I know feelings aren't facts, spirals don't have to be shameful, and when life hands you lemons you don't have to make lemonade. You can make something else. You can make a Long Island Iced Tea or an Arnold Palmer. You don't even have to make a drink at all. You can squeeze the lemon juice all over your open wounds instead. I mean, everyone knows it's not really about the lemon anyway but what you do with it that counts.



Here's something that counts: binding your love by law, like J Penry and Meg did last weekend.


Love

Love
Jew
Spic
Love
Tan
Scott
Gia
My table crew.
Another table crew.

Just a crew of general riff raff. White trash, two Heebs, and a...southerner.
Things eventually got weird, like always.




Live it, learn it, etc:




In other news, I'm still blogging for jezebel.com but not only that, I'm also the new Editor-At-Large at Missbehave magazine. They have a blog too, and I got my posts on that as well. Sherlock Holmes it your own damn self, the internet is easy enough isn't it? (JK. If I don't get enough hits I'll totally link it asap, I'm just really tired right now and don't feel like sitting at my computer any longer).

Oh yeah, before I forget, I'm back to being a DJ. More details to follow but let's just say...it's a 90s night called 120 Minutes with me and Greg from The Misshapes at The Bowery Electric, Thursday nights, starting June 19.

BOO YA.

Jezeballs to the Walls!

I had so much fun guest blogging this week at Jezebel!
I learned so many new things and my brain reached new levels of insanity.
My fingers bled, I smoked too much and forgot what "outside" was, but all in all, I upped the ante on my writing brain and that's always a good thing.
I hope I get to blog there 100 more times!!!

Check out my posts here.

This might be illegal

Great response Bill. (Don't sue me).

How next level is this? I never even sent this text!
I'm thinking my sister will just see it up here, and communication mayhem will ensue.


So this week I'm guest blogging at www.jezebel.com
It's mostly fashion type stuff but all the girls there are awesome so go to the site.
I'm a slave to my computer.


PS my brain just turned into a dried apple and my fingers are bleeding.

Weekend Update

New York is awesome because not only do we have the Naked Cowboy, but we also have the Naked Indian Guy. He lives on my block!

Look how happy this guy is. The cops weren't mad, they were just like, "Come on guy, how about some clothes?" Cops don't get mad in New York. They just don't.

Meanwhile, Chip continues to wow us...


People love to try on my glasses.

This is clever!


Dude, Greg Johnson's blog.
so funny


I had a baby.

A lot of people are like, "It's weird that your kid looks half Native American half Scottish." I know right? It IS weird.

The Zog has a party called Kid Rockers so we went to that.
Highlights include The Zog asking kids questions:
The Zog: What's your favorite song?
Little Kid: I'm three.

The kids then get to ask their own questions, such as "What's your favorite band?" and "Any brothers?"

This guy!

Sensual Seduction

Jen invited me to a private Kanye West show. She's like be fri with him. Besties. He called her a "fly color Asian." TIGHT.

At first we just walked around and drank Shirley T's and took pix of each other...





Then I saw Spike Lee and I was like "Can you take a picture with me?" And he's all "I'm done!" Then he stood right in front of Jen and she's like, "Back up bitch!" And then he was our total bitch cuz Jenny is mad real like that.


She overheard what he was saying to his bodyguard and BBM'd it to me...

Guess what Spike Lee? You're a herb! (jk...come on).
Tara's not though...



It took Your HIGHness Sir Kanye West like twompers hours to hit the stage, my dogs were barking.

When he came out, it was the jump off! (I don't know what that means). He sat in an egg shaped chair for a while...

Awwww. It's cute!

He had these naked girls come out and we were like, "COOL!"

Then they stayed on stage for a little too long and we were like, "WEIRD!"

The dude who owns Alife was geeking out big time. He was wasted and trying to give Kanye West his BUSINESS CARD WHILE DUDE WAS LITERALLY IN THE MIDDLE OF RAPPING.


Put that away for crying out loud. He tried to hand it to him and Mr. West was like, "Um...I'm rapping. Could you not?"

Then he got das boot kid!

So good.
Are there any possible Backstage Betty's in the audience tonight? They sure is.