Miami pt 2

The after party was at this cheesy Miami club called SET. At first we couldn't get in and it was MY party, which just goes to show how HOT Miami is right now. They made Aaron and Rafael go back to the hotel to change into pants. We held it down.


They showed a movie all bout ME. Can you believe it? It was little snips and snatches from vbs.tv. That up there is a picture of me and my sister when we were just little girls.

I guess this was a fun game for some people.




Rafael is the best dancer.

This was how I came down from Red Bull.

Miami pt 1

I did a reading/Q&A at Books and Books in Coral Gables. Look how many strangers showed up! It was weird, I wasn't nervous at all. I had nothing prepared and no idea what I was doing and it went swimmingly. Look at all the old people. Look how many people have blond hair.
I guess the two people sitting in the front seats didn't like it. Oh well. Fuck you strangers!


I had so much fun in Miami and there are SO many pictures. I've been exhausted and it's a lot of work to keep updated. I know Perez Hilton updates like 30 times a day but that's his full time job. Gimme a break (cuz I sure do need one).

I promise more pictures very soon. I'll leave you with this taste...

birthday party cheesecake jellybean boom

This is a weird picture of me and Charlotte from her birthday party. You can barely see her but she still looks pretty.

Jen is in the middle, Chrissie's in the blue bodyglove outfit, and then there's her mentor/big sister Drea. Adriana? No big deal.

Drea's got milk bags.

Rafael with Molly the psychic.

Samantha and Mommy. She kept saying I looked "mad Jewish."

Jeff and Eric.

Take Note

Scott reminded me of this while we were eating dinner. I looked it up in Actual Air. I had forgotten about this old poem but it still rings very true.

"If you were cool in high school
you didn't ask too many questions.
You could tell who'd been to last night's
big metal concert by the new t-shirts in the hallways.
You didn't have to ask
and that's what cool was:
the ability to deduce,
to know without asking.
And the pressure to simulate coolness
means not asking when you don't know,
which is why kids grow ever more stupid."

-From "Self-Portrait at 28" by David Berman

Skip Raid!

I wasn't mad at this

more from bill

These are from Lizzy and Erin. Gems a'plenty!

1. "You're a white widdler."

2. "You're being so keen." (This was meant as an insult).

3. (When he took my keys), "I'm holding your keys hostile."

4. "You guys are gold diggers. You only wanna date people with jobs."

5. "You don't ask someone if they want a flower, you just give it to them."

6. (After viewing a show at Dietch, outside on the street at the top of his lungs), "INTERESTING!"

and also

7. "Quit throwing leopards at me! You're throwin mad leps right now." (He was drunk, I still have no idea what that means).

My Summer Vacation Part 1

I went to Vermont for my second Old Home Day. Old Home Day is like the town homecoming. The town (I won't tell you which one, it's too sacred) has a population of about 700. They had a parade, a carnival, a chicken BBQ, and a book sale. We stayed with Jet and Zoe and their kids, Oscar and Simon. Zoe also has another kid on the way. We stayed here:




This was one of our windows.






Jet and Zoe have the most amazing house. They live in the town's old general store. They made it their own.


This was my special spot.


Surprises, little.



This is Simon. He enjoys sword fighting and the colors white, orange, blue, and black.



I got all these amazing books for a grand total of $3.


I didn't wear a bra for 4 days.

The Quotable Strobeck

Bill Strobeck is my ex boyfriend, but more importantly he is one of my best friends and my family. Everyone who knows and loves Bill knows that he says some pretty fucking funny stuff. I put this list up on my myspace page a few years ago but took it down when we broke up because it reminded me of hard times. People actually ask me about Bill and his funny quotes so often that I decided to put it back up. Plus I don't think of the hard times anymore, I just laugh. And you can be sure I always have a pen and paper handy whenever Bill is close by.



1. "You guys didn't call it the lavatory at your school? Well, did you drink bags of milk?"

2. Me: "Oh look! I just saw a salamander run under the pool!"
Bill: "Oh yeah? Did they do that at your Bat Mitzvah?"

3. "Wow. She's a full blown different."

4. "That guy looks like he doesn't belong anywhere. He just belongs."

5. "Look at that dude run! It looks like he just learned how."

6. "Oh who's he going out with? Zenee Nelwigger?"

7. "You're making me wanna shed mad tears."

8. "That guy is pretty butter." (Referring to his dick)

9. "I wanna pull a hamstring."

10. "Tara Subkoff...what's her line? Raised by Jesus?"

11. "Fuck this, I'd rather go to Club 84." (He meant Studio 54)

12. "Fuck this, I'm moving upstate and getting a job at Pastabilities."

13. "Asians eat the darnedest things."

14. Ben: "This pizza is tres miserables."
Bill: "I've seen that!"

15. "You know what i love on
girls? Gerters."

16. "Let's just move to LA and get famous like that girl what's her name...fucking...Lilock? She was in Lovebug." (He meant Lindsay Lohan).

17. "I don't thrive on talking to foreigners."

FRIEND Q's #1: ERIN KRAUSE

Erin Krause is my friend. She's a cool girl who I don't really know THAT well so I thought I'd ask her some questions to perchance get to know her better. She has a blog www.tunecollector.blogspot.com. I like her. Do you?


1. What kind of books (or magazines) do you like to read?
I'm kind of obsessed with reading magazines about health and science because I'm such a hypochondriac. I'm also kind of obsessed with reading about people who die horribly tragic deaths, or commit suicide. I love the Tuesday Science Times. I also like books about or written by girls/women and pulpy crime novels, and authors that give you insight into the way the world works like Malcolm Gladwell. Sometimes I look at fashion stuff sometimes, but not really.

2. If you felt like having sex with a woman, anyone alive or dead, who would it be? (In other words, who is your TEN?). Monica Vitti, she seems kinda cold and icy, but I bet she'd be wild in the sack. She's a Scorpio.



3. What board game (or parlor game) to like to play and what 6 people would you chose to play it with? Ok, this is personal and maybe cliche, but I'd like to play Truth or Dare where everyone has to get a shot of truth serum before you start and every dare would at least have to be a 7.5 on a scale of 1-10 and I'd like to play it with one of my x-boyfriends who's kind of a liar, this really hot girl I met the other night who has to remain nameless, Christian Bale who must be a some kind of superior human being, Mr. Bush the President, Kurt Cobain, and Lesley, so she could write about the whole thing afterwards.

4. What do you have in your closet that you are saving to give to your daughter? Am I really suppose to do that? I'm already a bad mom and I haven't even started yet. FUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKK...
And now I'm cursing. Great.

5. Who did you ever have a sex dream about that now makes you feel slightly weird every time you hear that person's name or see them? This is too embarrassing. I'm afriad he'll read it.

6. What do you think is very pretentious? (Could be a movie, a person, an art movement, etc.) Everybody says that theatre people are really pretentious, but the ones I work with are totally the least pretentious people EVER. I think film people are worse, and ART is the worst wosrt. Like, oh here's my track of mud, now lets sell it and act like babies.

7. What would you rather, have someone pull off your fingernails and toenails individually (no painkillers) OR eat corn kernels out of poop until you got really, really full (there would be a way to measure your fullness)? I'd choose torture over the gross poop thing. At least then you'd know what its like to be tortured. And your nails would totally grow back.

WHY?

Part of the reason it took me so long to have a fucking blog is because they are unreliable programs that fuck me over and break my heart.

Take "The TEN" entry for example. Why does it look different on my PC at work? All the words line up with the photos when I'm at work, and yet when I come home and look on this here ibook of mine, THEY DON'T!

WHY???

Also, a picture in "The Ten" entry has a question mark. Why? It doesn't when I'm at work!! FUCK YOU COMPUTER BLOG WORLD.

This stuff gives me anxiety like you wouldn't believe. And my hot water is out too!!!

COME ON EARTH! GET IT TOGETHER.

Jen Brill loves

"Duh. Mary Frey. When I was 13/14/15/16 I thought she was the most
beautiful, cool person that I didn't know. I still think she is a
perfect 10."

The TEN

Last night I was hanging out with Sarah, Gavin, and Emily and we were all googling pictures of who we each thought was a perfect TEN. Sarah thinks that you don't know unless you know their personality, and I think Gavin agrees, but I think in real life that goes without saying. I was thinking TEN strictly looks-wise. We were also just talking about girls. For boys, a TEN for me is Ron Weasley. Sorry.

Gavin thinks Beatrice Dalle is a perfect TEN.

We agreed she was hot and interesting looking, very sexy, but not a TEN. She's a little French Whore-ish for my likes. Gavin says a perfect TEN is totally hot but also a little weird looking. Thanks Gavin!

Emily claims she would get plastic surgery to look like Lou Doillon. NO THANKS!

I would make Charlotte my own personal fuck doll. (Courtesy of Jen Brill)

And Sarah likes the chick from Labyrinth, who the rest of us deemed too normal and boring. Gavin claims that she's "a girl's TEN."

In other news, Gavin pulled a TV up to his roof with ropes (the staircase is like walking up a spine). We watched a french horror movie called High Tension outside with blankets, snuggles, cookies, and jokes. Emily was so scared she had to go downstairs and make Ikea Swedish meatballs. I give the meatballs a NINE and High Tension a SIX.








ALL TENS

$O$

I believe that I am consumed with financial fear, and because of the all-consuming obsession I have with not having or making enough money, it is becoming my "wish," so to speak. I am blinded by the fact that the world goes on around me regardless of how much money I have. I can take lemons and turn them into lemonade but instead I chose to take said lemons and squeeze them into every open wound I have.

The bottom line however, the real clincher, is that I think a part of me actually ENJOYS the fear and obsession. I dig deeper, the hole gets bigger. I'm covered in dirt and smiling a shit eating grin and it feels very natural and safe to me. No stranger to misery I am. It's security. It's fucked.


I'm just about ready to retire and move to Boca!

Fuck. I seriously need a camera.