Elizabeth's Apartment

(Muppet skin fur coat)

FUCK U XMAS (but I like ur card)

Thought For Thought

Sorry I've been slacking on my blog lately. I won't bore you with excuses. I'd rather talk about new and awesome exciting things, such as writing for the Thought Catalog.

I love this site and am honored that they asked me to write for them. (Side note is that I got them to work with another writer friend of mine, Nichole Beattie, so you should read some of her stuff too.)

My articles so far have been: All The Boyfriends I've Ever Had In Chronological Order (in 4 parts)
New York vs Los Angeles (a.k.a. "Driving: A Love Story")
and something that just went up today:
When I Had A Zine

I'll be writing for them weekly, so please comment and let me know what you think. I'm really insecure and everything you say on the internet I really take to heart.

Byyyeeeeee!!!!

Uniform Project Day 3

I'm getting slightly worried that I'm gonna run out of fantastic outfit combinations.


I'm also getting more than slightly worried about how I'm gonna wear this dress in the New York heat.

Suggestions?

(PS please check out the site and help a good cause)

MEXICO

I just got back from Mexico. Maybe I was sleep deprived, but tell me if your brain wtf's this as much as mine did.

I guess having to be at the airport at 4am didn't help, but I was kind of hungry and thirsty and usually I just depend on the kindness of airport McDonald's breakfast to help me out. Instead I saw this place:
Hmmm. Interesting. Looks like they're selling bags of hay and old TV dinners...

Upon closer inspection... what a shocker:
It's either old hay, cow dung, or a bag of hair. Yum, appetizing. I can't wait to eat this on the plane?

You know what I can really go for right now? A box of steak from 1978.
I then saw there was a candy shop open so I meandered my starving ass over there. Just in case you forgot, this is what candy usually looks like in my brain:
But I guess this is what candy looks like in a Mexican persons brain:
A delicious bag of doody balls.

Imagine if someone gave you these on Halloween:
Can I have some more candy flavored baby food please?
I'm really in the mood for a black pinwheel with nuts on it.
Oh yeah. MEXICO.
I'll take a plastic bag of turds for $109 please.

Playing The Sax That Sounds Like Life

Today was a great day in LA.
I actually drove past "Melrose Place."
Then when I was driving down Sunset, "Hazy Shade Of Winter" by The Bangles came on the radio and it was just like Less Than Zero. There were palm trees everywhere.
I also found (after a month of having this rental car) a secret button makes Sirius radio happen.
Score!
And tomorrow I'm waking up at 4am to go to Mexico. WOW!

The Groupie Chronz: I'm Not With The Band

I posted this on buzznet but thought I'd share it with you guys as well. What happened is that I got the chance to hang around a band. I got to win my way into their hearts, or at least try, so I figured I'd kill two creative birds with one bedazzled stone and write about. (I'm not sure why the stone is bedazzled, but let's just run with it). Now that I think about it, befriending a band isn't really being creative. So I just killed one creative bird.

Can you tell I'm tired? IT'S NO EXCUSE.

Anyway, here's part 1 of The Groupie Chronicles. Hope you likey.

Sometimes I moonlight as a groupie. I'll admit it. It means I go out with dudes in bands (well, there have only been 2 of them to be exact).

You might remember my first epic groupie adventure from this blog

And maybe my second groupie adventure could be just moving to LA for the summer, but I'm not gonna count that.

I was supposed to go to Comic Con today with a band but when my boyfriend overselpt, I got kicked outta the van.* He was stressed for time and I don't think me saying "wait, I can't find my phone!" really helped much. Needless to say I never made it to Comic Con.

Needless to say I'm bummed.

So instead I went shopping. I drove to Sunland thrift only to find zero things. Then I went to a store called Driftwood on Sunset and got this skirt. It's pretty I think!


*bathing suit top by APC, skirt from Driftwood, sneakers by Converse

I can only use this groupie chronicling as a learning experience.

1. If the band needs to wake up on time, be the type of groupie who sets a second alarm just in case.

2. Be the type of groupie not to forget anything, and if you do, don't tell the band. They don't wanna hear it.

3. Don't stay mad. Groupies should live like free birds. Let go, move on to the next groupie adventure.

* Please note that my "kicked outta the van" statement should be stricken from the record. It was an exaggeration on my part and my boyfriend is nothing but a sweet sweet guitar playing lovebug who also happens to be extremely determined and hard-working, while I am just merely along for the ride, in whatever vehicle (metophorical and literal) that will take me there, if I'm lucky.

Read PART TWO and PART THREE.

Love Was A Dangerous Angel

I went to the screenplay reading of Weetzie Bat last night at Book Soup in LA. I wore this outfit because I thought it was Weetzie-esque. The thing about LA is that wearing anything other than flip flops makes you feel way overdressed. So that happened.


If you don't know what Weetzie Bat is, click here and here. Or I'll just tell you. It was a seminal young adult book series I read in high school. A lot of alernative kids were into it.

This was sort of a big deal. Girls with black framed glasses having only been dreaming about what this book would be like as a movie since 1995. Now those girls are older and wear contacts. Still, Weetzie will always have a cult following. Like this young lady:

This girl showed up too. She looks just like what I wished I looked like in the 90s. I was trying not to be too creepy with the camera.

Here's Francesca Lia Block (author) posing with... guess?

Yup. Dirk, Duck, and My Secret Agent Lover Man. (I KNOW!!)


Does this gal look familiar? She was only Dottie in Pee Wee's Big Adventure, the friend in Valley Girl, and the singer in the band that played at the dance in Better Off Dead.

She sang an acoustic version of "Send Me An Angel" that started out with a douche chill, but ended with just a regular chill.

Look at the girl who played Weetzie! Ain't she cute?


Overall I'd say that the script was actually pretty cute. I especially liked the part when Weetzie and Dirk went to the Jane Mansfield fan club party. I left early though because the girl next to me passed out and I let her mom take my standing room spot. I bought a book and left. Plus listening to people read scripts makes me feel weird.

I'm Going To This

I hope it's not too packed

Black Eyes. Cold Hearts. Born 2 Lose.

I've been having a really hard time lately, mostly it has to do with work (lack thereof). I'm not sure if this is the sort of thing I'm supposed to admit to the public or not, like does it make me seem less successful/competent? Probably.
It's the lack of confidence that leads to not being as prolific as I would like, and that's just where I'm at. It's a catch 22 because when I get more work it enables me to be more prolific, and as a result I feel better about myself.
When the opposite goes down I feel worthless. I feel like there's no reason for me to even exist and no words of encouragement can fix the feeling. Yeah I'm dramatic and sometimes throw my own pity parties but I don't care.
Not every weekend is a party. Not every outfit is a winner. It's hard for me to write and pretend otherwise.
I know this sounds gloomy. I'm harshing your mellow and being Captain Bringdown.
Let's all complain and close the curtains so no light comes in. Lock the door and sleep all day and don't wear makeup and don't answer the phone and delete yourself from Facebook and when someone tries to cheer you up don't even let them.
Do it now.
Do you feel better?
I do.

Sometimes I feel bad. I'm not gonna let myself feel bad about feeling bad.

(Another thing that helps is listening to this Buzz Bissinger podcast, thanks to my boyfriend for showing this to me).

In happy news, I went to Palm Springs last weekend where it was 107 degrees (I liked it). It was hard to sit in the sun but I managed. I needed to show off my Budweiser bikini. Reason #1 for happiness.


Reason #2: Local cover bands. They played "Boys Don't Cry" and "American Girl." I danced around in circles and pretended I was in an episode of Rosanne.


Reason #3: Gay men. They all live in Palm Springs and they are mostly bears. I went into a sex store called "GEAR" and found this not so subtle lubricant. We also went to a gay club where I drank many a Red Bull to the sounds of Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Rihanna, and Madons. T'was totally ruling.

All these photos were taken with my Blackberry because I forgot my camera.

I Never Promised You A Wrap Dress

I know it's hot in NYC, but over here in Los Angeles it's chilly! I got excited about this wrap dress I found at a thrift store.
Check out my rat tail and peep the way I wear it.
I'm crazy about these socks I got from Top Shop. I need more thigh highs in my life.
Also, this is important:
Side note, I'm really missing New York lately. I know I'm not "missing anything" and it's hot as balls there and I'm not dying to go home, but there's a new sense of longing in my stomach. I think most of the time in LA I just feel like I don't fit in anywhere. I've heard that it takes a while in LA to find your niche and I really get that. It's very autonomous out here which is a weird adjustment, but a good experience and experiment nonetheless.
I'm just gonna raise my big brown mug for now and say "here's to another month!"
More soon and wish you were here. xox

Little Things

I just needed to share this with you:
1. My favorite drinking glass.
(dare you to notice my meditation stone in the background)

2. Pretty baubles in the bathroom, just casually hanging there.
3. THIS DOG
4. THIS DOG AGAIN
(Name: OSO. He is 14 years old).

Status Report

Los Angeles has been treating me well. There are some ins and outs I've had to learn, for example, I can't really go anywhere between the hours of 4-7pm (the traffic will make you slit your wrists, plus the fact that the sun is beating down on you and you have to pee).
Hilary and I have been getting in a lot of pool time. The weather has been a dream and I finally figured out (sorta) how to control my hair (the air is really dry).
Here's Hilary being cute.

I wanted to take a picture of my feet because I do believe they are truly stunning.
The other night I went to this bowling alley where they had Karaoke. I was fiending for my peeps because I know we would have gone apeshit. I went apeshit anyway.
I mean, I couldn't not. This guy was there and his name is BLAQUE CHRIS.
Matty and Brian are in The Soft Pack and also, they love each other.
In other news, there are always coyotes (yes that's the proper pluralization) in the backyard and today we saw a deer eating an orange back there. I was too sleepy to take a picture.

We've been having some late night hang out sessions on the patio where we end up laughing too hard and smoking too many cigarettes and getting yelled at by our neighbor the next day. That's a little slice of perfection right there.

There's also a milkshake at the diner I really enjoy: vanilla, honey, and peanut butter.

Fuck I gotta start being more interesting. Will soon. xo

"I really want a Fedora..."

The Fat Jew and Jonny Famous made this. Honestly, it's like literally so funny. I can't even deal you guys!!! It's my friends birthday, play Lollipop!!

Driving: A Love Story

1. My House, In The Middle Of The Street: Los Angeles is good. Real good. It's quiet and weird and different. It's hard not to pretend that I'm Weetzie Bat up in this Shangri-liscious canyon. We have tons of tiny white lights that sparkle at night all around us. There's an orange tree and an avocado tree and a blue tiled bathtub. Everyday I like to put my bubbles in and open the window and take a bath. I come out smelling like sleepaway camp.




It is sort of like camp here. Mandy is our landlord but she's also like a camp counselor. She's got that camp counselor vibe of knowing how to wear a bandanna or cut her sweatshirt in the cool way. She also makes documentaries, including this classic.

2. Drivin' On 9: Remember when I was so scared to drive? Remember when that was a "thing" for me? It's not anymore. At least not extremely so.
I grew up driving but it was different back then because driving meant FREEDOM. I drove everywhere I possibly could the minute I got my license: New York City, New Jersey, every turnpike, highway, expressway, Roosevelt Field Mall, whatever.
Now driving doesn't have any "meaning." It means gas, getting lost, being careful. I guess it means freedom too but only if you can afford it. Guess what guys? FREEDOM AIN'T FREE. I really love my car. It was loaned to me by Pete Anderson aka "Teddy Ruxpin." I have my ipod all hooked up, complete with a driving mix. Sometimes when I'm feeling crazy I'll just let the tunes shuffle. Then Tilt comes on or NOFX and I can pretend that I'm 17 again driving to a Long Island hardcore show at the PWAC. (Ruxpin update: Pete went to see Todd Barry perform and Chelsea Peretti opened for him. He loved Chelsea so much he looked at her blog, where he discovered a whole world of smart funny girls: Aviva, Pia, Elizabeth, etc. Then he started following me on Twitter, saw my tweet about needing a car and BAM now I have one. So in other words, THANKS CHELSEA!)

3. The Weather: New Yorkers talk about the weather way more. Probably because it changes. But it's freezing here in LA. All I keep hearing about is how hot it is in NYC and here, I'm wearing a flannel and jeans. And it's not night. We had the heat on the past few nights even! WTF-balls? I want me some of that desert heat. BRING IT.

4. Funny People: I feel a little self conch-shell in LA because I'm so new here. Still trying to figure out how to keep whatever swerve I had (do people still say "swerve?" Ima bring it back if not). Plus, I'm not a comedian or a "comedy writer" per se. Every cool person is a comedian. They're like the Vincent Gallos of LA. In New York, the cool kids are the cool kids and the comedians are just nerds. I can't figure out who the nerds are here. Probably the homeless people.

Last night I went to UCB and I saw this guy and I was like, "I'm pretty sure we've met before." Turns out I've never met him, but felt like I had because he's on MAD MEN. Then Chelsea said, "Welcome to LA."

PS I changed my mind. Not gonna bring back "swerve."

PPS They still make this?