Monday, July 5, 2010

Driving: A Love Story

1. My House, In The Middle Of The Street: Los Angeles is good. Real good. It's quiet and weird and different. It's hard not to pretend that I'm Weetzie Bat up in this Shangri-liscious canyon. We have tons of tiny white lights that sparkle at night all around us. There's an orange tree and an avocado tree and a blue tiled bathtub. Everyday I like to put my bubbles in and open the window and take a bath. I come out smelling like sleepaway camp.

It is sort of like camp here. Mandy is our landlord but she's also like a camp counselor. She's got that camp counselor vibe of knowing how to wear a bandanna or cut her sweatshirt in the cool way. She also makes documentaries, including this classic.

2. Drivin' On 9: Remember when I was so scared to drive? Remember when that was a "thing" for me? It's not anymore. At least not extremely so.
I grew up driving but it was different back then because driving meant FREEDOM. I drove everywhere I possibly could the minute I got my license: New York City, New Jersey, every turnpike, highway, expressway, Roosevelt Field Mall, whatever.
Now driving doesn't have any "meaning." It means gas, getting lost, being careful. I guess it means freedom too but only if you can afford it. Guess what guys? FREEDOM AIN'T FREE. I really love my car. It was loaned to me by Pete Anderson aka "Teddy Ruxpin." I have my ipod all hooked up, complete with a driving mix. Sometimes when I'm feeling crazy I'll just let the tunes shuffle. Then Tilt comes on or NOFX and I can pretend that I'm 17 again driving to a Long Island hardcore show at the PWAC. (Ruxpin update: Pete went to see Todd Barry perform and Chelsea Peretti opened for him. He loved Chelsea so much he looked at her blog, where he discovered a whole world of smart funny girls: Aviva, Pia, Elizabeth, etc. Then he started following me on Twitter, saw my tweet about needing a car and BAM now I have one. So in other words, THANKS CHELSEA!)

3. The Weather: New Yorkers talk about the weather way more. Probably because it changes. But it's freezing here in LA. All I keep hearing about is how hot it is in NYC and here, I'm wearing a flannel and jeans. And it's not night. We had the heat on the past few nights even! WTF-balls? I want me some of that desert heat. BRING IT.

4. Funny People: I feel a little self conch-shell in LA because I'm so new here. Still trying to figure out how to keep whatever swerve I had (do people still say "swerve?" Ima bring it back if not). Plus, I'm not a comedian or a "comedy writer" per se. Every cool person is a comedian. They're like the Vincent Gallos of LA. In New York, the cool kids are the cool kids and the comedians are just nerds. I can't figure out who the nerds are here. Probably the homeless people.

Last night I went to UCB and I saw this guy and I was like, "I'm pretty sure we've met before." Turns out I've never met him, but felt like I had because he's on MAD MEN. Then Chelsea said, "Welcome to LA."

PS I changed my mind. Not gonna bring back "swerve."

PPS They still make this?