I Never Promised You A Wrap Dress

I know it's hot in NYC, but over here in Los Angeles it's chilly! I got excited about this wrap dress I found at a thrift store.
Check out my rat tail and peep the way I wear it.
I'm crazy about these socks I got from Top Shop. I need more thigh highs in my life.
Also, this is important:
Side note, I'm really missing New York lately. I know I'm not "missing anything" and it's hot as balls there and I'm not dying to go home, but there's a new sense of longing in my stomach. I think most of the time in LA I just feel like I don't fit in anywhere. I've heard that it takes a while in LA to find your niche and I really get that. It's very autonomous out here which is a weird adjustment, but a good experience and experiment nonetheless.
I'm just gonna raise my big brown mug for now and say "here's to another month!"
More soon and wish you were here. xox

Little Things

I just needed to share this with you:
1. My favorite drinking glass.
(dare you to notice my meditation stone in the background)

2. Pretty baubles in the bathroom, just casually hanging there.
3. THIS DOG
4. THIS DOG AGAIN
(Name: OSO. He is 14 years old).

Status Report

Los Angeles has been treating me well. There are some ins and outs I've had to learn, for example, I can't really go anywhere between the hours of 4-7pm (the traffic will make you slit your wrists, plus the fact that the sun is beating down on you and you have to pee).
Hilary and I have been getting in a lot of pool time. The weather has been a dream and I finally figured out (sorta) how to control my hair (the air is really dry).
Here's Hilary being cute.

I wanted to take a picture of my feet because I do believe they are truly stunning.
The other night I went to this bowling alley where they had Karaoke. I was fiending for my peeps because I know we would have gone apeshit. I went apeshit anyway.
I mean, I couldn't not. This guy was there and his name is BLAQUE CHRIS.
Matty and Brian are in The Soft Pack and also, they love each other.
In other news, there are always coyotes (yes that's the proper pluralization) in the backyard and today we saw a deer eating an orange back there. I was too sleepy to take a picture.

We've been having some late night hang out sessions on the patio where we end up laughing too hard and smoking too many cigarettes and getting yelled at by our neighbor the next day. That's a little slice of perfection right there.

There's also a milkshake at the diner I really enjoy: vanilla, honey, and peanut butter.

Fuck I gotta start being more interesting. Will soon. xo

"I really want a Fedora..."

The Fat Jew and Jonny Famous made this. Honestly, it's like literally so funny. I can't even deal you guys!!! It's my friends birthday, play Lollipop!!

Driving: A Love Story

1. My House, In The Middle Of The Street: Los Angeles is good. Real good. It's quiet and weird and different. It's hard not to pretend that I'm Weetzie Bat up in this Shangri-liscious canyon. We have tons of tiny white lights that sparkle at night all around us. There's an orange tree and an avocado tree and a blue tiled bathtub. Everyday I like to put my bubbles in and open the window and take a bath. I come out smelling like sleepaway camp.




It is sort of like camp here. Mandy is our landlord but she's also like a camp counselor. She's got that camp counselor vibe of knowing how to wear a bandanna or cut her sweatshirt in the cool way. She also makes documentaries, including this classic.

2. Drivin' On 9: Remember when I was so scared to drive? Remember when that was a "thing" for me? It's not anymore. At least not extremely so.
I grew up driving but it was different back then because driving meant FREEDOM. I drove everywhere I possibly could the minute I got my license: New York City, New Jersey, every turnpike, highway, expressway, Roosevelt Field Mall, whatever.
Now driving doesn't have any "meaning." It means gas, getting lost, being careful. I guess it means freedom too but only if you can afford it. Guess what guys? FREEDOM AIN'T FREE. I really love my car. It was loaned to me by Pete Anderson aka "Teddy Ruxpin." I have my ipod all hooked up, complete with a driving mix. Sometimes when I'm feeling crazy I'll just let the tunes shuffle. Then Tilt comes on or NOFX and I can pretend that I'm 17 again driving to a Long Island hardcore show at the PWAC. (Ruxpin update: Pete went to see Todd Barry perform and Chelsea Peretti opened for him. He loved Chelsea so much he looked at her blog, where he discovered a whole world of smart funny girls: Aviva, Pia, Elizabeth, etc. Then he started following me on Twitter, saw my tweet about needing a car and BAM now I have one. So in other words, THANKS CHELSEA!)

3. The Weather: New Yorkers talk about the weather way more. Probably because it changes. But it's freezing here in LA. All I keep hearing about is how hot it is in NYC and here, I'm wearing a flannel and jeans. And it's not night. We had the heat on the past few nights even! WTF-balls? I want me some of that desert heat. BRING IT.

4. Funny People: I feel a little self conch-shell in LA because I'm so new here. Still trying to figure out how to keep whatever swerve I had (do people still say "swerve?" Ima bring it back if not). Plus, I'm not a comedian or a "comedy writer" per se. Every cool person is a comedian. They're like the Vincent Gallos of LA. In New York, the cool kids are the cool kids and the comedians are just nerds. I can't figure out who the nerds are here. Probably the homeless people.

Last night I went to UCB and I saw this guy and I was like, "I'm pretty sure we've met before." Turns out I've never met him, but felt like I had because he's on MAD MEN. Then Chelsea said, "Welcome to LA."

PS I changed my mind. Not gonna bring back "swerve."

PPS They still make this?

Going Going Gone

A lot of people think travel isn't such a big deal. Even if it's for a long time, let's say, 2 months, people are still like "Oh it will be great" and "what's the big deal?"

They are right on both accounts, and while they obviously don't know that "it will be great" I'm willing to believe them and feel the same way.

HOWEVER, on Thursday I'll be leaving for LA for 2 months. And yeah it's not a big deal and it's gonna be great, but I'm pretty nervous. Here's why.


1. I'm Not The Bad Ass You Think I Am: Wait, do you even think I'm a bad ass? I don't know. But I'll tell you right now that I might not be. The first reason for fear is always fear itself! It's like, "Okay so I'm scared, check" but then the following thoughts are "what if the fear never goes away?" There's always the nightmarish fantasy of going to a place and suddenly your arms and legs won't move and it feels like there's gum all over your eyes and I'm just totally paralyzed by the fear of nothing. You know what I mean? I logically know that's not gonna happen, but the anticipation of feeling even more scared, well, it scares me. People say "Say positive" but sometimes that comes off as sounding dismissive. As much as I'd like to believe that I'm secretly a punk rock freight train hopper who lives each day like it's an all ages show, I am in fact quite not that at all. My ego puts up with a lot of eye-rolling when I talk about being scared of stuff, but whatever, it's still a thing. My moral code might have a dyed blue Mohawk but I'm still a human retard sometimes.

2. I'm Not Popular (yet) In LA: I've lived in NYC for about 10 years. I wear my housepants to the bar like it ain't no thing. It's because I feel comfortable here and people know me. All the crushes I'm ever gonna get within a 5 mile radius have been crushed and put away. Finally, after 31 years, I can just do me. It feels different having to do that in a whole new place. What if I'm a dork there? Wait it just occurred to me... What if I'm a dork HERE? Okay, next.

3. Although I Grew Up Driving, I'm Still Scared To Do It: You know what I'm talking about. I don't wanna die, kill someone else, get a ticket, or try to parallel park in front of a group of people. I think about this stuff a lot.

4. Boyfriend: Truth be told, a huge part of why I'm going is because I like a boy. We've spent some time together and even though I've gone through an excruciating break up this year, I couldn't be more siked. There's still the "what if" factor. I'm not gonna think about it so much. Don't think. Stop thinking. It's gotta be the bumper sticker in my brain right now. That's all I'm gonna say about this for now.

I wanted to write this stuff down and get it out of me because I'm sick of living with these thoughts. I'm not even going for that long. Also, I'm totally fucking stoked.

I'll miss you hot summer New York nights. I'll miss you little apartment and little cats around my neck. I'll miss you Miguel from the deli who gives me free cigarettes. I'll miss you buying a bagel and Snapple and Sour Punch Straws at 2am. I'll miss you Merks and Bill and Gav and Em and Judi and Jen and Xrissie and Elizabeth and Natasha and Bones.... so much. And everyone else. Come visit me. Now.

NOW.

Grease Is The Way That I'm Feeling